We slept late. I went up to Dania pier and back on the bike. It was a gorgeous day. I ate a grapefruit on the beach. I took off my shoes and stood in the water, which was warm and free of jellyfish. No one was on the beach. I peed in the water. What greater happiness?

Then we drove down to Wolfie Cohen's Rascal House in North Miami Beach for breakfast with Bob Steuer, Jonathan's father, and Roberta Steiner. It's still a great breakfast at the Rascal House with a huge basket of rolls, muffins, and coffeecake, most of which we brought back for Bess's freezer. The whitefish appetizer is not up to Barney Greengrass or Russ & Daughters, but it is still very good. We also had corned beef hash with a poached egg on top, and Bob put away 3/4 of a deluxe sandwich of corned beef, pastrami, and chopped liver. Josie ate the rest.Jonathan was even able to wangle several bowls of pickles from our lovely waitress, Michelle.

..

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We spent the afternoon buying kosher meat near Aventura Mall. Nothing is scarier than a kosher meat market on a Friday afternoon in Florida, where numbers are not given out. Next to it, the Intifada pales. Outside, a pair of Lubavitchers entreat passers-by to put on t'filin. Then, we hung out at the beach with wine and pistachio nuts.

In the evening, we returned to Bess's for a dinner of steak grilled by Jonathan.

And then everything unraveled. I went down to light the grille by the pool. The condo commandos eyed me suspiciously. Alan, the consigliere to Joe Sausage, walked over "Oi thawt you wuh going to use da grille."

"I am," I said, "I'm here."

"Well, day said you wuz going to use it a 5 o'clock. It's six."

"Am I too late? Does someone else want to use it?"

"No, you can use it. Just make sure you leave it like you found it."

I untied the huge length of hurricane-proof rope that lashed the barbecue to the railing. I unwrspped the triple-guage vinyl grille cover, tied down with velcro.The stainless steel grille was gorgeous. I opened the valve and struck a match. Nothing.

"Is there any gas?" I asked Alan.

"There should be," said Alan, "You just have to know how to turn it on. Let me show you."

There was no gas.

"Hunh," mumbled Alan, "The best laid plans..."

"No," I said, "It comes from having too many generals and no soldiers."

I returned to the apartment. We had to empty the oven. There was a broiling plate, but no pan. The pan was at Lolly's. We had to go to Lolly's for the pan. Meanwhile, we had a deadline to meet, because we had bought tickets on line for Marjorie and Jonathan to see "Lord of the Rings" at 9:00 PM. The computer voice was too loud for Marjorie. Bess wanted to cook now. No, not now, in two minutes, no now. Carol wanted kiddush. I wanted to get going. Josie became inconsolable, so I walked her in the parking lot (she loves to move in the stroller and watch the lights twinkle). I didn't get my steak. We drove the kids to the movie. We went with Josie, who took a bottle and went right to sleep. Then I started a full-blown shitfit which didn't end until 10 AM the next day.